It's pretty obvious

I know this might sound a bit harsh but the truth is the truth. When talking to someone and for whatever reason they are talking about their morning routine and say that they don't like to feel like they are wasting time, yet they also complain about never feeling pretty because they don't have time. Um sorry but your "not wasting time" is pretty obvious. You don't look like you put a lot of time into yourself so your "not wasting time" really equals self neglect which in turn means you really have no room to complain about your appearance because it's not important enough for you to put any time into it. COMPRENDE? Yea so next time you complain about not feeling pretty, be prepared for me to probably remind you about how you "don't like to waste time" and that somehow rushing makes you feel more accomplished.

Why can't you just STFU

OMG sometimes you make me not want to come home! You wonder why I'm so pissy all the time? It's you, its because you won't shut up! I ask you nicely all the time to please let me decompress when I walk in the door but you refuse to respect my request.

I feel emotionally assaulted when I walk in the door and you just start talking at me. I NEED that time to myself and when I don't get it it agitates me more than you can ever imagine and then I'm miserable and angry for the rest of the evening. You wonder why we've been fighting a lot, well this is why. I finally figured it out, at least part of the reason so I've attempted to offer a solution but you won't listen.

You make me not want to come home and that sucks!

I see you

Hey hottie exec dude STOP STARING AT MY LADY LUMPS! Yes I saw you and this is not the first time. I was flatterd at first but now I'm just slightly weirded out. Play it cool dude, a glance is acceptable but when I look at you and you look at my chest, its just not cool, cuz I see you!  Oh and by the way, I am NOT wearing my googly eye bra today (no I don't have one but wouldn't that be a cool yet creepy concept?) so don't even try and use the excuse that you were trying to make eye contact or distracted by the googly eyes. I know the ladies look rather lovely in this itchy ass sweater but still, we're in the work place, let's keep it clean.

Rethink your clothing choices

Let's begin by mentioning that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! Now that that's out of the way I shall continue.
Super cute new wool cardigan + white tank top = cute and casual yet still work appropriate.
Super cute new wool cardigan + white tank top = WTF was I thinking? I have no skin protection from the itchy wool and while I do look super cute my arms are itching like a poor pooch who's owners forgot to put Advantage on him. Not my best clothing decision today but I can do nothing about it but itch all day and hope no one thinks I have some contagious skin jumping flea condition or something. UGH

Not to self "wool IS itchy, regardless of how cute it is!"